Well hey to everyone out there who's come to my poem page. Glad to see you've got a little bit of sensitivity in your heart... creativity... whatever you want to call it. I'm just going to warn you, what I write comes from within ususally whenever I'm mad or upset about something. You'll probably see that if you read the poems below. I really haven't written alot in the past few years, except for one of the poems, which a certain someone might realize if he ever reads this. Anyways, yeah I basically have my heart on my sleeve when I write, and like I said, I haven't written much lately, mostly because I've really become involved in ceramics and art at school, and also haven't had much to be mad or upset about! :o) I'll probably add more to this page as time goes by since I just found a bunch of stuff I had written back in the day, I found it as I was cleaning my room to go back to college....

Chance

Is chance mere chaos or an order that escapes our understanding? Chance can be experienced only in a total surrender to the unconscious. Enter a world of very real uncertainty. We live in close proximity with chance. Beacause it dwells inside of us no less than our intentions, we ARE chance - chance and intention. Inexplicable reasons. Some of the so-called greatest works of art were found by chance. To delve into the unknown and unexpected gives an opportunity for unseen creativity to present itself that might have gone unrecognized if searched for while under certain commands to find. True chance and intention can be the most beautiful and inspiring work because it was not searched for. Its innocence makes it original and unique within our organized world.

Sarcastic Smile

I don't know whether to
Love or hate destiny,
For bringing us together
And then tearing us apart.
Everything that is hidden
Behind these eyes
Will never be understood.
I can refuse to accept
The ideas of your reality.
Although truth may hold the record
Of where we stand right now,
I'll love you forever
Behind my sarcastic smile.

One Day

Striding forward
to your unchanging mask of lies
my bravery falters.
But I struggle to keep my composure
calm under a false sense of security.
I hand over what gives you such pride to gaze upon.
It's all you possess
that can grant you your sense of accomplishment.
It's the only way you can proclaim passion and depth
and still be approved by everyone that you unduly try to impress.
You try to show that you are one who is superior.
Can't be brought down by anyone.
It's ironic but I predict that one day
you'll meet the one who will fulfill your void,
answer your dreams and questions,
and this time they will be the one
who holds complete power over you and your heart
for a change...

Ineffectual Remedy

extreme feverishness
overtakes our usual
steadfast composures.
submitting to my emotions,
I subject myself
to an onslaught of pain
that is sure to follow.
In silence I struggle
to heal the unrelenting hurt
you cause me
with an ineffectual remedy.

Three days

I met you when I least expected,
always thought you were just a mirage.
Had seen your picture so many times,
yet never thought I'd actually meet you.
Face to face, when that day came,
I felt myself immediately fall
into something I cannot explain.
One look into your eyes
and I was completely drawn within.
You drive me into a state of mind
I had never dreamed was possible.
"I feel as though I have known you before,"
Words that echoed my own innermost thoughts.
Three days of my life, three nights of my heart
Were spent and shared with you.

Gone

I lost myself when I looked into your eyes,
fanning the flames of desire.
A blazing fire where our glances meet,
the largest feeling towering over me.
Of course we're miles away from home,
we were held by forces we could not control.
One night chained in your embrace,
day dawned and I saw your face.
I gave you my heart,
you tasted my soul,
and now you're gone again.

One of the Same

I'm waiting for that day
when you will finally understand,
precisely mirrored, what it was
that you were doing to me.
When you approach realization,
I hope you remember me.
Every ounce of anger,
Each single drop of pain,
Any emotion that you encounter,
I also had one of the same.

Every Day I am

Conformed to this desk,
Forced to respond to these questions
I already know the answers to.

heart

Upside down double teardrops
Welded together
A part of a whole
Yet one and the same.
Open at the point,
Emptying continuously.
A warm, softly falling delicate rain.

The finish Line

Time had run out,
the bells rang loud and clear.
I sensed what was to come about,
the end was coming near.
I didn't want to know its face,
but I had once already before.
The finish line of our obstacle race
Had come into sight once more.
It's been a different road to walk
now that our one has gone separate ways,
it is sometimes painful to merely talk,
memories come flooding back of old days.
I realize we have come to an end,
We are part of the past, something to remember.
Of course I will stand by you as a friend,
and keep our other memories in my heart forever.

You Are

A silent explosive device.
Walking through the halls
quiet in the midst of congregation.
Observing the futility it would be
to instill thoughts into their minds.
Unknown, underestimated.
All make you even greater
than the highest seated person.
Untainted, saved from the mass.
Solitude unleashes your fire,
ignited by nature's guiding hand.
Voice of the divine sings louder than any.
You've found it, heard it, listened.
You know more than them all.

from 12/01/98..... Comments: Poem: "You Are" Idea: Oh, how you loved that kid! He didn't know it, but you thought he was the best thing since sliced bread. Basically, he knew more than other people, he found some sort of clairvoyance through solitude. He was above all the superficiality and crap that all the others drank deep like wine. He knew how to live, how to feel, and his spirit poured out through his voice like poetry, and he never once thought of himself as better than the rest. You saw in him the secret of living that you can feel flow through your own veins when you're sitting on the beach at nighttime just listening to the waves crashing on the sand, the wind coldly tossing your hair over your face. Or looking up at the night sky, the stars shining down, free from the world's rusty talons, like he was from society's malice. :) bye :) -------Someone wrote this to me in response to this poem... and they truly captured my complete idea, meaning of the poem, everything.....

Well, it's 5/26/98 and yesterday something ended that I had with someone. It meant a lot, but I guess everything happens for a reason and feelings have changed. There's nothing that I can do, but I can't believe it's over. I had thought that everything would be fine until I left for collge; I never expected it to end so soon. Everything between us had seemed to be so special and so REAL; we never acted to be someone we weren't and at one time it felt like nothing could ever tear us apart. But when someone loses that feeling that they had for someone I guess you can't help but be thankful for every minute that you spend together with them. I guess I'm writing about this to try to reach out to anyone out there that is reading this; take nothing for granted. What you have with someone is special in every way. Every little look, touch, smile, laugh, tear, EVERYTHING is special. You never realize what you had until it's gone, and once it is there is no going back.

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